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"Der, gee Barney, what would be a good time to do some roadwork on I-76?"
"Buuuuhhhh...."
"That's a good point, we probably should do it when not many people are expected to be driving into the city."
"Muh? Gub."
"Friday evening it is! Good thinking!"

I'm really curious - what do you think the situation was wherein someone first convinced people that getting crapped on by a bird is good luck?
I mean, under what possible circumstances could you convince people that's true?
Did the guy stop to wipe it off just as the bus that was going to splatter him went barreling past, two inches in front of his nose?
Did he subsequently win $10,000 on a scratch ticket?
Or was he just really, really good at lying?
I'll bet it was the last one. In fact, I would wager a full can of PBR that it was a politician.
Of course, I say this through the prism of someone who's had to deal with these people all week; the kind of people that wouldn't know the meaning of the word "gall" if it (or, say, their own effing campaign manager) walked up at a fundraiser for fallen firefighters wearing the candidate's tee-shirt.
God, these people.
Tell me again - why aren't we just voting on things ourselves via Internet at this point? Because we're all so helplessly incompetent that we might end up tarnishing America's image and good standing with the rest of the world, needlessly sacrificing our young in endless, drifting wars or ruining the economy?
Yeah, I guess that's a fair point. Tell me another one.
No, really - bring it on.