Friday, August 22, 2008

On Williams

Now, I don't want this taken the wrong way, and I'm not endorsing anybody or anything, but Craig Williams, one of just 683,477 people from Alaska NOT running for the vice presidency but is the Republican candidate stalking Sestak's seat, absolutely KILLS at this thing.
It's kinda hard to hear, so I'll see if his campaign can't dig up that piece of paper he's reading from for some transcript action.
In the meantime, check this out.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

On tourism

If the United State of Georgia had any brains at all, it'd be cashing in tourism-wise on this whole war with Russia thing in a blitz of new tourism ads.
Some of which come to mind now.
"Come to Georgia. We won't slaughter you wholesale ... or retail!"
"Georgia: Racist? Sure. But not ethnic cleansing racist."
"Where 'Georgia peach' isn't some weird euphemism for a hand grenade."
Picture of Putin looking particularly dour with this slogan: "Georgia on your mind? Then why not take a break from it all - in Georgia! So relaxing, it's like a heavy-handed invasion of another state of mind."
"One World, One Georgia: United in Abject Poverty."
Um, maybe not that last one.
This is my favorite though:
"Visit Georgia - now with 50 percent less Soviet occupation than that other Georgia!"

Got one? Let's hear it. You know where the comment button is.

On practicality

If I was in any position close to a band at all, I'd write a tell-all book full of lies. Just stuffed full of 'em. Mostly about sex. 'Cause let's face it, that's what puts bookasses in bookseats.
Of course, the band would be in on the joke. I mean, that basically would be the joke: that the band was in on a massive prank about the kind of "tell all" nonsense memoirs that get published and benefit nobody but has-been jerkoffs looking to cash in on dried-up gravy trains.
See, my friend, let's call him "Larry," he's the sound engineer/guitar tech/rodie/occaisional bassist for a couple of fairly well known touring bands featuring approximately the same members, but no matter how I press him, I can't get him to convince the band members it would be a hilarious joke to write this thing.
I mean, obviously you'd do something meaningful with the profits of what would be an undoubtedly controversial book, like give the money to AIDS orphans in Africa or something, but just imagine the response to a shocking, tell-all, expose about a band and a gay love ... triangle! Oh! Geez, that'd kill in the sticks...
Can't you just see it? The VH1 interviews? The CNN buzz? And then about 20 years or so later, you hold a big "April Fools!" press conference.
Admit it - it'd be a pretty good prank. Andy Kaufman would be proud.
Which reminds me - when is that dude gonna come out of hiding?