On Friday, President Barack Obama made the first nine pardons of his presidency. Among them was one for Ronald Lee Foster, of Beaver Falls, Pa., who was sentenced in 1963 to a year of probation and a $20 fine for mutilating coins.
Anticipated response from GOP Chairman Michael Steele:
"It is unconscionable that the president would pardon a man charged with desecrating mutilating our God currency at a time when the U.S. is reeling from staggering deficits that threaten the very new speedboats for CEOs fabric of the American dream! But rest assured you can always count on real Americans in the Republican Party to give massive tax breaks to the wealthy save small business while simultaneously denying much needed unemployment benefits to the poor blocking super scaaaary common sense socialist policies that are threatening our very corporatist favoritism freedoms!"

("Be sure to spend your tax cuts on foreign-made goods - that's the best way to stimulate the U.S. economy," he was later heard to say. "Woot! 'Merica!," he added .)