Saturday, March 28, 2009

Dear Buffalo Wild Wings,

We get it. Anyone who has watched more than two hours of the men's NCAA tournament gets it. You have food and beer and people enjoy being in your restaurant. So much so that they wish they could move in.
Message received.
Now please, for the love of gourd, stop playing this horrendously imbecilic spot 600 times over the course of a single game. Or at least play a different commercial. I know you got 'em - you got one for every sport except Skee-ball, and they're all equally interchangeable. Just because they don't involve the sport actually being played on the television at the time the spot runs doesn't mean we won't come away with the message, BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME %&*$ING MESSAGE IN EVERY COMMERCIAL, DELIVERED IN EXACTLY THE SAME STUPID @$%*ING MANNER.

I mean, I've seen your basketball-geared commercial so many times, I can quote it verbatim:
DUDE 1: "I love watching sports in this gross chain restaurant soooooo much."
DUDE 2: "I also love this, and yet the sporting event we are watching is drawing to a close."
DUDE 1: "We should contrive to extend the outcome of said sporting event, that we might stay here longer or, if possible, forever."
DUDE 2: "Agreed."
BARTENDER: "Consider it done."
Cut to athlete getting nailed in his danglers/receiving blunt force trauma.
ALL: "Hooray!"

Ask anyone I know - if I can remember anything you've done that well, with my memory? Well then you have a serious problem with repeating yourself. Time to change it up.

Warmly,
The Ayatollah of Rock N Rollah
(dictated but not read)

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