Friday, June 27, 2008

On hacking

Every time I plant my face down exhaustedly into my keyboard and roll it around for a couple minutes to regain composure, I always hope that when I pick my head back up, I will have somehow accidentally hacked into the Pentagon. Or at the very least, the Department of Agriculture.
But no, there's just an open word file still sitting there, with a cursor blinking at the end of "...upon which the present motion was filed to d;adskfjsrfdlfgseghwegeighelkgjsdlfkbvgjsdlfbsdnbnbkdjbndfbsdlbsd."
There is, however, a very helpful little gnome of an animatronic paperclip that always seems to recognize something close to what I'm trying to achieve and is more than willing to lend a hand, be it spreadsheets, letter-writing, or simple Internet trolling.
"You look like you're writing a letter! Can I help?"
"Actually, I'm just making a list."
"You look like you're making a list!"
"Of animatronic paperclips I hate."
"You look like you're searching for ways to destroy me!"
"Yup."
"You can't!"
"@%#%ing paperclip!"
One day, though, he noticed I was trying to decrypt government files with my face, and he offered to help. This story doesn't really go anywhere from there, except to say you might want to check your credit rating, just to be safe.

Turns out he can be a helpful little fella after all.

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