Barack Obama needs to shore up his campaign workers. Fo' reals.
Tuesday's rally at Widener University was already going to be unpleasant enough for those simply watching from the crowd, but for the local press, it quickly turned into an exercise in frustration.
See, local press is usually told to be at these things about two hours early. Democrat, Republican, doesn't matter. All advance teams basically have the same marching orders.
Including that the traveling press, which normally arrives about 20 minutes ahead of the candidate, is given preferential treatment.
Now, they do pay for a good deal of this stuff (well, not them, but their news organizations) including food, coffee and tents for outdoor events like Tuesday's.
But when the local press is told to show up two hours early to an outdoor rally when it's freezing and raining outside, wouldn't you think the advance people would let them wait inside the sizable and nearly empty tent set up for the traveling press corps?
Yeah, so would I. Which is why, when I was kicked out of the tent at 8:30 a.m. for being the lowly local press - unclean and unfit to huddle for warmth in their shelter - I quickly assessed the situation in words unfit to print here, but which rhyme with "mucking mule spit."
Dan Hanson, Widener's head of PR, unfortunately caught the brunt of the grumblings from the local press, despite it not actually being his fault. To his credit, Hanson was out in the rain with us, for the most part, and he helped me get space for my laptop bag in the tent so my computer wouldn't be ruined by the rain.
I suppose I could have set the thing up on one of the two dozen or so folding tables that had power-strips running to them - outside, in the rain - but for some reason the idea didn't thrill me.
(And while I'm on the subject, who the hell set up those tables and what were they thinking - that we'd actually plug in, with our equipment rotting in the puddles quickly forming on the warped, uneven tabletops?)
So we huddled. Under smaller portable pavilions without sides, from which you couldn't see a damn thing. For two hours.
By the time Obama came on, my feet felt like marble and I could barely force my claw-like hands to take more than a few feeble notes, but at least by that point the traveling press had showed up and - surprise! - didn't give a damn if we shared their tent. They probably would've told the Obama advance crew to pound sand if they had been there earlier.
Sean Smith, one of the local Obama contacts, later told me he agreed with my original assessment and gave the advance crew a tongue-lashing as well. Not that it made a lick of difference, but it was nice to hear he went to bat for us.
Meanwhile, it looks like Obama's election night preparations in Chicago's Grant Park aren't going to be too favorable to the press, either.
According to Lynn Sweet at the Chicago Sun-Times, the campaign is charging usury amounts for access - $935 to get into a file center, where the Obama spokesmen will be hanging out, and $880 at the minimum for riser space to get a view of the action for broadcast.
McCain's prices for his election night headquarters at the Arizona Biltmore Hotel ballroom aren't much better, at an estimated $695 per-person. Like Obama's package, that covers space, power, Internet, TV and food.
Sweet isn't looking for a hand-out on this one, but she rightly calls the Obama camp's steep prices "an outrageous pay to play plan that caters to national elite outlets with deep pockets."
She does note an Obama spokesman told her the file center charge "just covers costs and they are not turning a profit on this," but unless they're throwing in a bottle of Dom and a pure-bred Schnauzer, I highly doubt that's right. As in correct or morally justifiable, your choice.
Unlike McCain's coverage plan, there will at least be a free space for reporters at the Obama HQ who don't want (or can't pony up for) the goodies included in the filing center package, but it will be "outdoors, unassigned and may have obstructed views."
Sounds familiar.
Meanwhile, I'm wondering who to send my doctor's bills to when the pneumonia kicks in.